We, too, are postpartum after pregnancy and infant loss. And we deserve the same care all who give birth need, with an added sensitivity to our grief and our trauma.
Pregnancy loss. Infant loss. Womb loss. Such losses are as valid as any other, yet these experiences and the individuals who endure them remain largely unrecognized and unsupported. To Tend and To Hold honors survivors and the depth of what they’ve gone through with a reverence that has, until now, been missing. Within this carefully crafted resource, Rosete emerges as a warm confidante, helping us articulate our experiences, understand our options, and tend to our unique needs as both postpartum and bereaved. Woven with threads of wisdom from a trusted collective of health and healing arts practitioners, comforting stories, nourishing postpartum recipes, and grounding embodiment practices, To Tend and To Hold is a heartfelt, holistic source of solace for all who bear loss.
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ADDITIONAL
PRAISE
Jill Koziol, cofounder of Motherly® and coauthor of This Is Motherhood
“In the landscape of motherhood literature, few books brave the intimate and shadowed valleys of pregnancy and infant loss with the grace and reverence found in Eileen Rosete’s To Tend and to Hold: Honoring Our Bodies, Our Needs, and Our Grief Through Pregnancy and Infant Loss. This book emerges as a compassionate beacon for those navigating the tumultuous waters of such profound grief.
Rosete, herself a survivor of early pregnancy losses, crafts a narrative that transcends the traditional self-help format. She offers a holistic embrace, combining her expertise in marriage and family therapy, postpartum doula work, and grief education to support women in their most vulnerable moments. Her narrative is grounded in personal experience and broadened by her professional expertise, making it both deeply personal and universally applicable.
The book’s uniqueness lies in its approach. It not only recognizes the physical and emotional postpartum state of women after loss―which is so often overlooked―but also offers an enriched vocabulary that fosters understanding and healing. Terms from other cultures that encapsulate the experience more gently highlight how language shapes our healing landscapes. Rosete’s discussion on the terminology of loss―like the Filipino ‘nakunan,’ meaning ‘someone from whom something was taken away’―provides a poignant example of how words can either isolate or comfort.
What sets Rosete’s work apart is her integration of practical supports, including nourishing recipes and embodiment practices, that honor the physical and emotional healing processes. The book also respects the diversity of grief’s expression, offering a variety of terms that readers can use to articulate their own experiences with loss. This choice empowers women to define their journey in ways that resonate personally, promoting a healing narrative that is both shared and singularly their own.
To Tend and to Hold is not merely a book; it is a companion for those who have felt unseen and unheard in their grief. It encourages a discourse that is both more inclusive and more precise―a dual tribute to the nuances of bereavement and the resilience of the human spirit.
Rosete’s work not only addresses the pain but also illuminates the path to healing with dignity and grace. This book deserves a place on the shelves of all who seek to understand the profound truths of pregnancy and infant loss, and on the desks of those who provide care in these tender areas of our lives.”
Jan Chozen Bays, MD, Zen teacher, pediatrician, and author of Jizo Bodhisattva: Guardian of Children, Travelers, and Other Voyagers
“This kind and tender book offers many ways of honoring and healing for those who have experienced the loss/death of a fetus or baby, no matter at what gestational age or how that loss occurred. Rosete speaks from the experiences of her own womb losses and from her work with those with similar losses. She has included a number of simple rituals and self-care practices that were created and shared by her friends in the healing professions. Partners, family members, and living children can be included in many of these simple but impactful rituals.”
Hannah Bronfman, activist, angel investor, wellness advocate, and author of Do What Feels Good